Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
