it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
