doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Drunk is not a location!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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