You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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