I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
