The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if only i could text you this smell
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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