also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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