glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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