my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
