This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I want to fling myself into the sun
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
