I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
