youre lurking in front of me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
