I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
