Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize