god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
