Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
