It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize