dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize