That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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