Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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