You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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