is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
