I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize