i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
