we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
