Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
