Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize