She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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