The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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