from now on my penis is your penis
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
