It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
