Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
