she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
