Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
