4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The beer is more important than you right now.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
