Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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