Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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