I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ladies don't puke and tell
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
