I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
