I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My vagina is very pro this idea
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
