There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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