I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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