I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
