Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
