She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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