I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize