Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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