areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
