So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
