The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
