I can tuck mytits in my pants
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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