i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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