She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
