I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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