He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
